3am wake up call. I woke up feeling insanely hungry. I smiled to myself as I assumed it was morning and I had successfully slept through the night. But quickly realized when I noticed how dark the room was that it wasn't at all morning. And that's when it happened. My stomach flipped, a lump came to my throat, my heart beat so loudly it sounded like drums in my ears, and out of bed I flew...literally flew.
Now I sit in the basement behind my laptop. I'm shivering and my stomach is rumbling. I am scared out of my mind and would give anything to call a family member, friend, or wake my husband. This isn't a fun way to begin the week. My hands are shaking and my body is freezing. My back is covered in the shingles-like prickles and I'm frozen with fear.
My stomach hurts and the gurgling is nothing short of ridiculous. Something I know often happens when I'm this anxious. My throat is raspy and burning and I believe that during my panic episodes I seem to get a type of heart burn...so it often leaves me with a weak voice.
I just wish I could wake my husband. Nothing is worse than sitting through this alone. I often wonder how people do it without support.
I keep hoping this is my last night-time post. I hope that day comes soon. I hope this isn't me.