Thursday, 26 July 2012

Tough Times Call For...Some Good Cries

I will keep this short. 

I have hit a wave and I'm in the thick of it.  It's been creeping up for a few weeks and I'm hoping I've hit the worst of it.

At 1 Year and 1 Week Benzo Free, my mental withdrawal effects have lessened to a very comfortable level.  I'm not "there" yet...but getting close!

Physically?  This week alone I have been hit with:

MAJOR nausea - dry heaving over the kitchen sink has returned

Chest Pain - the worst I've ever had and was so scary it required a "call to Mom and Dad" for support today...and a call to my husband at work...and my girlfriend Stephanie...it was not fun

Shingles-Like Pain - feels like a million little needles all over my spine and arms and it radiates to my legs/face/neck...at times my clothes hurt when they brush my skin

Nerve Pain - "Zaps" of pain all over my abdomen and ribs...it feels like bee stings all over

General Stomach Discomfort - it never feels "right"...bloating, gurgling and pains

Flu-Like Feeling - my body will ache as though I have the flu, but only comes for a hour or so, and it's not as extreme as a flu bug

Fever-Like Feeling - feel as though I'm burning up, so I take my temperature and it reads:  36.6


It has not been fun and many tears have been shed.  The past two nights have been the worst and my sleep has gone from a solid 6 hours to 2-3 hours per night.  I'm hoping for better sleep tonight.

I KNEW this could happen.  I read it all the time on the forum I visit.  Even the Pharmacist I once got my prescription from said, "You realize this can take several years to recover from?".  And yet I am shocked.  I didn't think it would continue to hit me this hard at 1 year out.  I am not really discouraged, but at the same time I'm obviously not thrilled with this.  The aches and pains have made me irritable and I LOATHE being irritable around those I love.

One step at a time...I got through another hard day today and I hope tomorrow is better...much better.  





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