Saturday, 14 April 2012

Living With Anxiety...Not So Much Nowadays

For years I tried to combat the anxiety I lived with.  My anxiety was never constant.  It would wax and wane over the years and at times was barely existent.  When I began taking Benzodiazepines on a regular basis, that's when the anxiety really went through the roof.  For a year or two I believed it was "me".  I didn't realize at the time that the reason my anxiety level was so high was because I was continuing to take these meds on a daily basis.  THEY were creating the unreal amount of anxiety and panic.

When I began to taper off of the medication, one of my MANY fears was that once this medication was gone and there were no more pills to take, then how was I going to deal with anxiety?  I took Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for months and found it to be extremely beneficial, however the real test would be when the meds were long gone. 

Now at almost 9 months med free, I can HAPPILY say that although I am still living with some unpleasant withdrawal effects from the Benzos, the one thing that has vastly improved is the anxiety.  Gone are the days of dreading doctors appointments, or worrying about plans that are weeks away.  Of course my mind is still busy at times, but it's different now.  I feel I have more control of my nerves - which makes sense as in the past my nerves were controlled by medication.

Each day I get further away from taking medication, I become stronger and I gain more control of my future...that feels amazing. 

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