Wednesday, 12 October 2011

Welcome To My Blog...Welcome To My Journey

I want to thank you for visiting my blog.  I am a 33 year old wife, mother, daughter and friend.  I live in a small home, in a small town and I wouldn't change a thing.  I am on a journey and I hope you will embark on it with me.  I have spent 18 years of my life trying to find the magic pill to cure my own battle with anxiety, only to find myself laden with countless side effects and withdrawal effects from each prescription filled.  From vertigo to nausea to blunted emotions, I have lost a part of myself and am hopeful that I will find the "real me" as I heal.  For the first time in 18 years I know I will never rely on a pill to save me from my jitters or "blahs".  I am prepared to take this on naturally, and I feel liberated.

 This past year I chose to come off my final Psychotropic.  A Benzodiazepine called "Clonazepam".  It is also known widely as Klonopin and Rivotril.  Benzodiazepines strengthen the effect of  neurotransmitter gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA).  GABA aids in regulating our central nervous system (CNS).  To put it quite simply, a Benzodiazepine gives our body's natural GABA a "break" and it - in a sense - becomes the GABA.  Suddenly the GABA no longer has to work at balancing our CNS because the Benzodiazepine plays that role.  Whether you take the Benzodiazepine for one month or three years, your GABA will have to relearn how to properly function again once you take the Benzodiazepine away.  And GABA is found everywhere - your GI tract, reproductive organs and liver to name a few.  So when you take away the "Benzo", you are left with a very confused CNS.  And it can take months for your CNS to recover from this.   

This is my journey...I am now 2 1/2 months off of Benzodiazepines after several years of prescribed use.  I am left with GI issues including nausea and bloating, panic attacks, muscle pain and almost constant anxiety.  I went on Benzos for mild anxiety.  There is too much to tell in one entry, so please join me as I document the ups and downs of Benzo Withdrawal and track my history of Psychotropic use.  Cry, smile and laugh with me.

I am a a wife, mother, daughter and friend...and I am a work in progress.  I am bettering my life for myself and my family and I am ensuring my daughter will never have to repeat my personal experience with the Pharmaceutical industry.

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